The Olympics has re-ignited a question that has plagued me for years. What happened to men’s shorts? When I cast my memory back I wonder, am I going mad? In the 1970s and 80s, I recall boys, men, professional tennis players and everyone really, wearing shorts that were, well, short. This was normal. Men in the 1950s were less self-conscious and shy about showing some leg than millenium men of today as evidenced by the photo above!
Many even wore Speedos on the beach (gasp). A man’s, shall we say, package, was just that, nothing more, nothing less. Not unlike women’s breasts, they protruded a bit through clothing. Yes we all see them, but we move on with our lives. The Olympics reminded me that I was not going crazy, that Speedos and similar swim suits are indeed used and considered quite normal. I have several European men as Facebook friends and they never tire of posting photos of themselves on boats, swimming in gorgeous places or playing games on the beach, always sporting a Speedo. And, they look good. Even guys with some weight to lose look better in shorter trunks (why are they called trunks?) What is with the American male and the Victorian hemline that continues to grow? I remember suits getting a bit longer, to mid-thigh, then above the knee and now more men than not are wearing Bermuda length shorts and bathing suits. When surfers wear them, they are called board shorts. When guys wear them outside of the ocean, they are Bermuda’s, sorry guys. Why are 20-year-old wearing Bermudas? When did men become such prudes and what are they hiding? Surely they can contain themselves within the confines of a normal pair of shorts, no? And, is this what’s next?
Are men so modest that they must be weighed down by another foot of fabric? Take basketball players:
They look like they are wearing skirts and they look absolutely ridiculous! I’ve noticed the same disturbing trend in Tennis and British Football. Through the decades there seems to have been a movement going on underground that has systematically and continuously lead to longer shorts. Have I been unaware of the mystique and taboo of the male knee which must now be hidden at all costs? Are those with a puritanical bent paying off fashion designers to create these monstrosities?
Meanwhile men are defending the women’s beach volleyball “outfits” if you can call them that, to the hilt. “Oh, they can’t be encumbered, they have to wear swim suit bottoms 3 sizes too small.” By the same token then, it would stand to reason that men in the same sport would wear Speedos right? But no, they are wearing at the knee or below the knee mega shorts.
But seriously, lighten up, people, literally!